I have stood in as a father for thousands and thousands of people, pronouncing a father’s blessing over them and seeing lives completely transformed. As I continue to travel and share this blessing I have come to a deeper understanding of other struggles.
One of those struggles is counterfeit affection, I believe many people may struggle with this, and it could be a core problem in their life, and they may not even know it.
Counterfeit affection is trying to find another way of filling a void in your life, in your heart. It is attempting to fill this empty place in a way that is not good and, most times is very unhealthy. The biggest problem is, it is destructive to your soul (Mind, Will, and Emotions) and this will leave you even more empty and broken.
You can never be what you have been designed to be if you are not willing to do what is right no matter how hard it is. (The hard times are building the foundations of what you will become.) When you build your foundations on anything counterfeit, it cannot last. So the question is this; why don’t more people find success, defined as “the progressive realization of a worthy goal”?
Counterfeit affection could be one of those death blows to finding success and fulfillment. It is just as important to understand where this and other problems lie, as much as it is to understand what the problem is.
People don’t see this, and so many other dream-crushing challenges, because they are at the root of our being and because we are looking at the fruit and trying to change things from the outside. You can paint an apple with orange paint, and it will still taste like an apple.
Almost all of our failures and successes stem from the roots we have. The seeds that were planted in your life will spring up and grow into a huge tree which will bear fruit based on the seed that was planted. Sounds simple enough, right?
The challenge is getting people to look at the root of the problem. Counterfeit affection, negative speech, worrying, and fear are only a few of the problems that have deep roots. The good news is when you start to break the stranglehold this has on you; then you will be able to see other problems you may have as well.
Counterfeit affection is really deceiving and artificial. And it will keep you from finding real love and peace in life. As Roger Taylor shares in his book “Love Hunger- the unseen force,” as well as Jack Frost’s book “Slavery to Sonship,” this comes from an unmet love need.
Counterfeit affection is simply someone whose ‘love tank’ is empty and trying to get filled by someone else whose love tank may not be full.
If our unmet need for love is from our parents (this is one seed that springs up and produces fruit), we may seek out other ways to fill it. These could be addictions or compulsions to alcohol, drugs, food, promiscuity, adultery, and pornography. This will hinder your ability to have a wholesome relationship with anyone because you are dividing your affection.
When our passion is not filled in the proper way, we seek out ways that are unhealthy in a spiritual, physical or mental way. We develop bad habit structures that will affect all of our life. None of them will bring lasting satisfaction; they will only give you a temporary fix.
When a parent does not receive affection from their spouse, they can very easily have a counterfeit affection with their children. Loving your children is very important; having them in the wrong order of importance can be very unhealthy for the parent and the child.
When the parent feels they are able to receive from the child rather than the spouse, they will not try to find the root of the problem with the spouse. Because your spouse is a very important part of you, it makes it so much easier to move forward when you help them stand on their feet.
When our unmet need is affection or attention, we may try to jockey for position. The need to be in control and to be the leader will never bring satisfaction because it is only a temporary fix to the real problem.
Too many times this turns into demanding that people respect us because we have position and power. People will not respect demands made on them. They will only do what is required of them until the demand is gone, then they will revert back to what they did before. They will never actually love the person that demands their love, and that is why it can never be fulfilling.
If the need for love was for safety and security, we might fall into the trap of wanting more things to feel secure. We may never feel satisfied with what we have and want more or different things to fill the emptiness. More is never enough, and it will not matter how much you have. You can’t find satisfaction in more.
All of the above counterfeit affections did not grow overnight, and they will not be corrected overnight. The first step is the same as every problem you will face. You need to be willing to admit you have a problem. The second step is you have to be willing to do something about it.
We all know that we have a lot of struggles and most of us are good at hiding them. The biggest problem is that we are not willing to change them. The fear of not getting more than what we have makes us dive deeper into what we should not have, the counterfeit affections.
We can never find real success and fulfillment, “the progressive realization of a worthy goal,” if we are not willing to let go of our counterfeit affections. Make time to take inventory of your life and see where you may have counterfeit affections that are keeping you from true joy and peace in your life.
What is money and fame without true peace and joy in your heart? You don’t need to look far to know money cannot buy real love or peace and lasting joy. If I can take a little liberty and say, Whitney Huston, Amy Winehouse, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and many more are proof that fame and fortune does not bring lasting joy.
True peace and joy can only come by dealing with the void in our life. If we have enough money to live comfortably and we are not in need of anything but still are not content, then more money or fame will not change anything.
It is only by looking at the root of the problem that we will be able to deal with it. Most times we will have to go all the way back to our childhood to find the real issue. The reason most of us do not want to do this is that it brings up the painful memories that we are trying to hide.
I have to share my greatest desire with you, and that is not to leave anyone the way I found them. I want to make them better by helping them to think. I am sure that you will never be the same after you read this. Because I made you think about it!
If you have been feeling empty and broken and you cannot find real peace and joy, there is only one way to find it. That is by receiving the Ultimate Blessing; and when you do, your life will never be the same again!